While reflecting on the past year, I realized I had spent a lot of time with people I didn’t enjoy spending time with.

It sucked for both parties, and it stole time I could have invested in people that matter.

It became very clear to me why this had happened after making three lists.

On the first list, I wrote down all the people that played a role in my life.

On the second list, I grouped the same people in three tiers, based on how much they mattered to me. On the third list, I grouped them based on how often I spend time with them. Weekly, monthly, or quarterly.

I went into it thinking that I must be spending the most time with people that matter most, but the reality was that it was completely random.

That’s when I realized that my entire life, I’ve left my relationships up to chance. Spending time with whoever happens to be around at the time.

This year I’m doing something different. At the start of every week, I look at the list of people that matter the most and ask myself “What can I do this week to strengthen these relationships?”.

The people around us are the most important part of our lives, without them nothing else matters. Why leave them up to chance?